We Walked Through Fire

 

 

When you walk through fire together, you’re never really the same.

 These are my people. These are my “co-leaders.” But calling them that feels too weak and inaccurate to really describe who they are and who they have been to me over the last year.

We led 47 people through 4 different countries- no, 5. Wait, 6- but who is counting the times we may not have known about?

These two stuck by my side through thick and through thin. When life was a party or life was a tragedy. Even when none of us had answers- we were in it together.

 If there was one thing I was sure of over the nine-month journey, it was this: I never walked alone. 

I had my Lord ever present, who knew me completely and cared for me when I was busy caring for the needs of everyone else. He was the One in the crowd, always seeing me, always foreseeing what I would need.

And I had Anika and Kayla; I had Christ embodied in the hearts of two women who reflected His love and care in such a beautiful and tangible way.

 I am not sure I have ever experienced so close a relationship, a bond so unique. Tested through fire and rain, still standing strong when we ran across the finish line.

I never had to doubt if they had my back. 

Not once did we question whether or not another would pride themselves at the expense of another’s well being.

To the squad, we were one, a united front, committed whole-heartedly to each other.

We got along so well that at times we may have been an obnoxious nuisance to our squad when we were all three together.

No one could explain just what we were doing or how we read each other’s mind effortlessly.

Onlookers rarely knew what we were laughing at. But we always did.

All it took was one word, one sentence.

I was known. I was loved.

 Commitment sounds nice when there is nothing standing in its way.

But when commitment is tested by travel days gone a-miss, hard conversations, decisions that we may or may not agree on, and sheer endurance through every circumstance, it becomes something more. It becomes a covenant. It means I will stick by their sides no matter the cost to myself. It means I would do anything for them, that I would lay down my very life for them. And I know that they would do the same for me.

These are two women who saw me at my finest and at my worst, and loved me through it all.

These are the women who called me out when I was trying hard to do it all the wrong way or all on my own.

These women loved me enough to tell me the hard things. To remove any excuse for me to not live up to the life to which I have been called.

Never have I been so known and so loved.

This is Christ, embodied in divine relationships He placed around me.

 I will never be the same.

For Gap C squad, for leading, for walking with the Lord.

I will never be the same for the divine privilege and honor it was to lead next to two women I call- not just my co-leaders, not just my best friends. But my sisters.

I wasn’t planning to write anything in this regard- because honestly words just don’t seem to express what all I want to say.

I am moved to tears when I think about the honor it was to lead and live life alongside Anika Danielle June (Yes, she’s got TWO [middle names]) and Kayla Charlene (Yes, her middle name is BALLER)- through the hardest and most challenging nine months of my life. But for which we grew together. And for choosing to do together, we are better.

 I now know what it is to commit. Whole-heartedly, selflessly. For another, for the team.

We laughed harder, disagreed more, cried more, and lived more than I could have ever anticipated.

And all that is left to say, really, is thank You, Jesus, for setting me up with my best friends. 

Thanks also to Hope for being the mastermind behind leadership team formations. (She hears the Lord).

And thank you to Anika, and to Kayla, for loving me and being committed to each other through thick and thin. For loving Jesus and sharing that love with me. For being courageous and bold. For teaching me to believe in myself. For challenging me and making me a better person. 

I love you, to the moon and back. For real. Forever and always.

 

 

You don’t walk through fire and come out the same.

We walked through fire and came out as sisters… with a few more inside jokes (that actually contain wisdom) and stories to tell our grandkids.

If you want a crappy team, be a crappy teammate. If you want an awesome team, be an awesome teammate.

I will never again in my life be hasty. Ever. Hasty makes waste(y). (Don’t do it).

Choices are to be chosen, so always choose your choice. Remember that people are going to choose their choice too- you have to let them.

Many answers aren’t known, so it’s better to be vague and reassure the questioning party that it’s really “tough to say at this point.” (Implying I don’t have a clue right now, but we’ll find out soon).

Aaron Carter is pretty much always on my mind, so he will always be the answer to who I was thinking about lately.

There is a time for dance parties (which is always, if you’re me). But there is also a time to get sleepy (aka on a long bus ride).

 PS. All jokes end up becoming reality. Be careful what you joke about. (HSQL, anyone?)

 

We are the Wolfpack, devoted to each other and to taking care of wolfie, of course. To Gap C, it was an honor to lead you and I hope you know how much we love you and still believe in you. Don’t stop. You are going to change the world, and maybe one day I will hear stories of you and your awesome co-leaders when you squad lead. 😉

 

And… this pretty much sums it up.

 

All photo credits to: The lovely Gaby Scheer (S/o Gap C Squad alumni!)

Also all wardrobe cred: Gaby Scheer.  [ Basically, she is a rock star. ]