In the Midst of a Battle

     This season feels like a beautifully intricate dance, and there are many moments where I must think fast. This is not a season of rest as I have known it before. Rest must fuel me, but here there is much to walk in, run in, dance around, and fight for. I must learn to continually follow the Lord with ever-increasing devotion and drive. My focus must be sharp, my spirit must be ready and willing at all times. My mind must be quick to discern every fiery arrow. I must take every thought captive. Before there was not much going on around me. My thoughts drifted in the slow pull of a calm sea. My heart beat was soft and steady- nothing stirred me beyond the peaceful state I maintained in green pastures by still waters. 

    But a shift has happened as I have walked into this new season. I have known what it is to lie down in green pastures. And now I must know what it is to come out of the pastures to fight. 

    David. 

    I find my life paralleling to the life of the man who was after God’s very own heart. In the fields, he heard the Lord’s whispers, he knew His love. I learned who I was in spending time in the quiet rest with the Lord last season. And I was beginning to think I could just stay hidden in the field all day long. I didn’t want to step out. I didn’t want the attention of people. But the Lord was teaching me that what I often laced with humility could very well be pride. What holds me back from speaking up and sharing the goodness I have received with others? It’s fear. Living for the approval of man. If I share something, they could reject me. Who am I living for, then? Is it to please man? Or to please God? Where does my acceptance and love come from? Man, or God? What have I been settling for? What have I been living for, or not living for? I found myself convicted of something I thought I was doing to be humble. But really I am often shut up and hidden away because of fear and not humility. I realized I have been given something really great. God Himself has been my Teacher, and there is much He has entrusted me with. I must steward these beautiful treasures. I have been handed down the wise counsel from many of my elders. This wise counsel is like a crown of grace upon my head and honor around my neck (Prov. 1:8). What do I do with these precious treasures? Shall I hide them away and never share them with anyone? No, for what if the very purpose of what I have been entrusted with is to share with others and spread the glorious Kingdom of God? Yes, this is indeed the very purpose!

    I cannot hide away. 

    “Come away,” God says, “and be with Me.”

    David wrote this in Psalm 27. In the beginning he writes of being attacked, his foes chasing him. But the Lord, he says, is his light and salvation, so he will not be afraid. It’s clear that David is not still in the field at this point, dwelling by peaceful streams with the Lord. He is out at battle, he is surrounded, and life has become a bit more complicated. But the rest and the place of peace in the fields has been a fuel for him- perhaps his heart still dwells there now.  And in the midst of the battle, the Lord calls him away to talk. He responds with, “Yes, Lord, I am coming.” How can he come away if he is the midst of a battle? He is the king now, with many responsibilities and many looking to him to lead. But his heart knows the place he abides. He abides in the rest, in the love of the Lord. What a mighty and great warrior, who, even when surrounded, can come away in his heart and talk with the Lord. Wise counsel comes to aid in the form of his close friend, the Lord. This is the place where his victory comes from. For from this place David is filled with strength. He remembers who the Lord is and who He said that David is. “Even if…” David declares, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” He realizes that nothing can take his place with the Lord from Him. Though he may no longer be in the fields, his heart is there and he knows that nothing can take the love of his Lord from him. Not a battle and no enemy. He knows where his victory comes from: his Lord, his Father, his Friend. By the end of the psalm, David stands in confidence, knowing he will surely see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Even though. Even though he is surrounded by enemies that attack him day and night. He resolves by the end to wait patiently, expectantly, on the Lord who has been ever Faithful to him. Be brave and courageous, he tells his soul. Yes, and wait.

    I am still in this complex dance, stepping out into what the Lord is calling me to. And I know it just may get all the more complex each day. I hear the lies, my enemy comes for me. But I know the difference. I am walking with my God. And coming away with the Lord is the place where I learn to know His Voice more and more. So when lies come, I recognize it is not my Shepherd’s Voice. I may be in a battle, but my mind is still sharp. I spent a lot of time with Him in the fields. Still, my heart dwells there, abiding in His rest. 

    So when my enemy comes, I will not be afraid. I will stand in confidence and wait expectantly on my Lord; for just as surely as an attack comes, surely my God will come through in triumphant victory. I walk in His victory. I walk in His promises. And I learned the promise of His heart in the quiet, still place of rest.